KINK 17 September 2023

Working with Kink 


Limited Places Left

This training may be taken on its own or as part of a 6-day series leading to a: Certificate in Diversity within Contemporary Relationships, more info can be found here: Certificate in Diversity within Contemporary Relationships

Dates : Sunday 17th September 2023   

Timing : 10am – 4pm (BST – UK time) with an hour break for lunch and 2 other short breaks.

Trainer : Bernd Leygraf , scroll down to see more about the trainer

Location : Online

Cost : £110 if booked by 17th July 2023, £125 if booked by 17th August 2023, £140 full price


Limited Places Left

If your booking is accepted that means there was space for you.  If it is full, email to join the ‘reserve list’.  Then, if anyone drops out we will notify you, if there is a ‘last minute’ place  for you.  We will also let you know when we plan a new date.

 Please note, that the general rules of engagement of the profession (confidentiality etc) apply when attending this workshop.

Trainer : Bernd Leygraf 

Consultant Psychotherapist co-founded a number of organisations (London Men’s Forum, UK Standing Conference on Sexual Abuse of Men, the Centre for Personal and Professional Development, the Whittington Hospital Psychotherapy Clinic, the Hungarian Gestalt Association, NAOS Institute). He co-authored with Judi Keshet-Orr the first MSc in Humanistic Psychotherapy and the first Masters programme in Psychosexual & Relationship Therapy in the UK. He also authored or co-authored, as well as led, several masters programmes in the UK, primarily at South Bank University, Middlesex University, Westminster and the University of Surrey. He was external examiner to various universities in the UK.

A former Chair of the Professional Standards and Accreditation Board at the European Association for Counselling, and Ethics Committee of COSRT, Bernd works currently with trainees, from over 40 countries. He is familiar with and interested in working with issues of cultural difference.  His principal influences in sexological and couples work are David Schnarch, Joseph Zinker, Ellen Bader, Judith Hemming, Joan Lachkar, Judi Keshet-Orr and, as ever, his clients. 

In 2023 Bernd was given the Liz McElligot Award for Outstanding Contribution to the Profession of Psychosexual and Relationship Therapy and for the support and guidance he has provided to the field.

Bernd is proud to have supported – alongside Judi – a significant number of sex and couples therapists in shaping their own professional identities and careers – both in the UK and further afield; some even have moved into offering specialist sex addiction clinics; others are now trainers in this field in their own right. 

Bernd is delighted to be (founder and) Honorary Member of the Hungarian Gestalt Association. Clinically speaking Bernd focuses on working with celebrity clients, and on men in leadership, both nationally and globally.

This workshop is open to counsellors and psychotherapists who work one-to-one with clients, as well as relationship therapists, family therapists, psychosexual specialists, coaches, health workers and medics.  In fact any professional who wishes to explore the difference between pathological behaviour and what is commonly perceived as “kink”.  We define kink as a set of pleasurable activities that in other contexts are defined as not pleasurable or usual.  Kink is sometimes also known as BDSM. 

BDSM is a general term which applies to activities, fantasies, or scenes that involve a consensual exchange of power, where it’s agreed that one person has more power over another person (for a set period of time), such as in role play or in sado masochistic practices. These rules are normally agreed in advance. It might involve physical control, sensory deprivation, restraint, pain, humiliation, and/or being told off. These things, in the ‘usual world’ might be perceived as unpleasant, but in kink may feel exhilarating.  A lot of people just fantasise about kink but don’t take it any further.

This training may be taken on its own or as part of a 5-day series leading to a: Certificate in Diversity within Contemporary Relationships, more info can be found here: Certificate in Diversity within Contemporary Relationships

Who should attend : This course is open to all counsellors, psychotherapists, psychosexual therapists, coaches and health workers who wish to deepen their thinking and understanding of kink. 

Maximum Number : 30

APPROVED FOR CPD : This course has been accredited by NCIP-  National Council Of Integrative Psychotherapists.  A Certificate of Attendance form for Continuous Professional Development for 5 hours will be sent by email once you have filled in the feedback form.  

     There are some online talks on zoom that allow you to come and go, or to choose not to participate in the exercise and breakout rooms.  This culture has started to creep into our workshops.  We have even had people say they want to leave to go and pick up children from school or walk their dog!  People dropping in and out is very disruptive – especially when there may be group exercises that are planned for the same group to participate in a number of times.  
     Because of this, we want to be clear about our expectations.  This workshop has been planned with the assumption that you, and everyone else, will attend for the full time.  SO PLEASE BE CLEAR, THAT IF YOU BOOK ON THIS WORKSHOP, WE EXPECT YOU TO ATTEND FOR THE WHOLE TIME, TO  PARTICIPATE IN THE BREAKOUT ROOMS AND EXERCISES AND HAVE YOUR VIDEO SWITCHED ON.
     Please also put your mobile to one side and on silent – checking your phone or texting will mean that you miss material.  So we request that you only check your phone during breaks.  

When powerful feelings are revealed and processed, it is not unusual that our own psychological issues are triggered and flow into the mix.  Wilfred Bion is a respected name in the world of group working. He wrote extensively and cogently on issues that invariably occur in groups. We would like to agree basic guidelines with you – based on his findings – to ensure the success of our work together. Bion’s central focus was the disruption (he called it ‘resistance’) that may arise within a group that shifts it away from its agreed task.  Our focus, our agreed task for this workshop is NOT therapy for the members or to criticise others.  OUR AGREED TASK IS TO OFFER TEACHING AND LEARNING RELATED TO DIVERSITY WITHIN CONTEMPORARY RELATIONSHIPS. 

To this end, our Certificate in Diversity within Contemporary Relationships welcomes and needs people to be courageous, and examine prejudice with tolerance and a minimum of defensiveness.  We need our workshops to be safe spaces, where participants can be vulnerable and supported if they make mistakes, as we all do.   We would like to remind you that we work within UK law and ethics (Gender Recognition, Equalities Act, MOU and Race) and will not tolerate non-compliance in any way.   We wholeheartedly support people courageously stepping forward, and anyone who is critical of this will not be welcome on this training and may be asked to leave.

This module is a part of the Certificate of Diversity Within Contemporary Relationships.  More info can be found here Certificate in Diversity within Contemporary Relationships


CANCELLATIONS : Any request to change (eg defer to alternative dates) or cancel your place at a workshop, that is made at less than 21 days before the course start date will be charged in full.  Any cancellation / amendments / requests to defer before 21 days, will be subject to a 12.5% handling charge.

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