Other Loves: Polyamory, Polygamy and Arranged Marriages 24 25 Jan 2023


This two-day Intensive is dedicated to exploring a wide range of relationship models taking into account culture, sexuality, gender rather than assuming that one size fits all.


NOW FULL: To join the waiting list email sambaker.pa@gmail.com with your contact number or click here to see the next course on June 24th 

DATES : 24th and 25th Jan 2023

ALTERNATIVE DATES : Saturday 24th & Sunday 25th June 2023Monday and Tuesday 16 & 17 October  2023

TIMES : 10am – 4pm (GMT – UK time) 

TRAINER : Bernd Leygraf


COST : £195 if booked by 24 December 2022, or £1215 Full Price                                                                                     


NOW FULL: To join the waiting list email sambaker.pa@gmail.com with your contact number or click here to see the next course on June 24th 


By the end of the training participants will have

  • Learnt to differentiate skill sets appropriate to working with two-person intimate systems, multiple intimate systems and “arranged marriages”
  • Enhanced therapeutic skills in working with multiple partner relationships 
  • Critically examined a wide range of relationships styles 
  • Learned how to adjust couples therapy skills when working with arranged marriages
  • Appreciated the difference between individualist and collectivist cultures 

The workshop will lean into what we can learn from those cultures to expand our own understanding of conventional notions of coupledom.

This training includes theoretical presentations, working in pairs and triads, case studies and live supervision. 

“The ‘Other Loves’ workshop was very rewarding for me
on multiple levels .  The content of the workshop widened my knowledge in the field of psycho-sexual diversity.
I enjoyed the Bernd’s balance of seriousness and humour.
And found great value in the richness and
openness of our group discussions.
Thank you!”

Dr. Irina Aron
Intercultural Communication Consultant and Psychotherapist

“I felt completely blessed to be in the company of
Bernd and those drawn to develop more
safety, skill, vulnerability,
tolerance of uncertainty, and
openness to working with Other Loves.
I learned and grew in this
inclusive, diverse and creative environment.”
Couples and Family therapist, Somatic practitioner,
Open Dialogue practitioner and trainer, Interfaith minister

We recognise that few of us had the training, the supervision or the experience to work with more than two in the consulting room and yet we are meant to work within our competence. Our view of relationships as always based on romantic or sexual attraction might not serve all client populations.  Most therapists will recognise that individual therapy skills are inappropriate to working with dual intimate systems, often referred to as “couples”.

The role of the therapist is different when the client is a couple (rather than two individuals) and the skills are fundamentally different. Many therapists will find the step from individual to couples therapy daunting in itself.  This course is suitable for therapists who work one-to-one as well as those who are established as couple therapists.  

Furthermore, our clients who identify as culturally different may challenge our way of thinking.  Some clients may identify as polyamorous and consider themselves as “multiple partnered”.  Others consider polygamy as the norm, and others may have met their partner through an arranged marriage.  Each of these require a different skills set. 

During the two days, we will explore and learn specific skills for welcoming and working with:

  • couples (an intimate dual system)
  • multiple partner relationships
  • non-eurocentric relationships
    • including arranged marriages and
    • polygamous ones
  • clients from collectivist cultures rather than individualist culture
  • erotically marginalised client groups

 Participants will be supported in:

  • recognising and adjusting our communication which may sound
    • discriminatory,
    • hostile,
    • including micro aggressions and
    • overt prejudice
  • exploring (counter)transference in this work. 

Thank you so much for a wonderful two days,
for sharing all your personal information and your knowledge. 
It turned out to be a much better course
than I could ever have imagined. 
Bernd you were an amazing leader.
It was fun, relaxed and very informative.”

Maggie Davies, Relationship and Psychosexual therapist 


Consultant Psychotherapist co-founded a number of organisations (London Men’s Forum, UK Standing Conference on Sexual Abuse of Men, the Centre for Personal and Professional Development, the Whittington Hospital Psychotherapy Clinic, the Hungarian Gestalt Association, NAOS Institute). He co-authored with Judi Keshet-Orr the first MSc in Humanistic Psychotherapy and the first Masters programme in Psychosexual & Relationship Therapy in the UK. He also authored or co-authored, as well as led, several masters programmes in the UK, primarily at South Bank University, Middlesex University, Westminster and the University of Surrey. He was external examiner to various universities in the UK.

A former Chair of the Professional Standards and Accreditation Board at the European Association for Counselling, and Ethics Committee of COSRT, Bernd works currently with trainees, from over 40 countries. He is familiar with and interested in working with issues of cultural difference.  His principal influences in sexological and couples work are David Schnarch, Joseph Zinker, Ellen Bader, Judith Hemming, Joan Lachkar, Judi Keshet-Orr and, as ever, his clients. 

In 2023 Bernd was given the Liz McElligot Award for Outstanding Contribution to the Profession of Psychosexual and Relationship Therapy and for the support and guidance he has provided to the field.

Bernd is proud to have supported – alongside Judi – a significant number of sex and couples therapists in shaping their own professional identities and careers – both in the UK and further afield; some even have moved into offering specialist sex addiction clinics; others are now trainers in this field in their own right. 

Bernd is delighted to be (founder and) Honorary Member of the Hungarian Gestalt Association. Clinically speaking Bernd focuses on working with celebrity clients, and on men in leadership, both nationally and globally.

APPROVED FOR CPD : This course has been approved by NCIP-  National Council Of Integrative Psychotherapists.  A Certificate of Attendance form for Continuous Professional Development for 10 hours will be sent by email once you have filled in the feedback form.  

     There are some online talks on zoom that allow you to come and go, or to choose not to participate in the exercise and breakout rooms.  This culture has started to creep into our workshops.  We have even had people say they want to leave to go and pick up children from school or walk their dog!  People dropping in and out is very disruptive – especially when there may be group exercises that are planned for the same group to participate in a number of times.  
     Because of this, we want to be clear about our expectations.  This workshop has been planned with the assumption that you, and everyone else, will attend for the full time.  SO PLEASE BE CLEAR, THAT IF YOU BOOK ON THIS WORKSHOP, WE EXPECT YOU TO ATTEND FOR THE WHOLE TIME, TO  PARTICIPATE IN THE BREAKOUT ROOMS AND EXERCISES AND HAVE YOUR VIDEO SWITCHED ON.
     Please also put your mobile to one side and on silent – checking your phone or texting will mean that you miss material.  So we request that you only check your phone during breaks.  

HANDOUTS : You will get a copy of the slides before the workshop

CANCELLATIONS : Any request to change (eg defer to alternative dates) or cancel your place at a workshop, that is made at less than 21 days before the course start date will be charged in full.  Any cancellation / amendments / requests to defer before 21 days, will be subject to a 12.5% handling charge.

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Organised through Sleeping Mountain Ltd