Self help and resources

THE TYRANNY OF THE FEMALE-ORGASM INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX: What one woman’s quest for sexual satisfaction reveals about desire, hysteria, feminism, and capitalism
I am a 39-year-old woman, and I have never, to my knowledge, had an orgasm. I include the caveat because I’m often asked—by the men I’ve slept with, by my closest friends, even by my gynecologist—if I am sure. The question can feel vaguely patronizing, but it also fills me, and others like me (studies tend to put the share of nonorgasmic women at 5 to 10 percent), with a creeping sense of self-doubt. Click here to read article

SOLUTIONS TO TRAUMA E-BOOK
This e-book has 50 chapters on solutions to trauma.  It can be downloaded in 2 parts.  Juliet wrote a chapter about Pesso Boyden Psychotherapy for this e-book which is in part 1.
Download Part 1 here
https://therapyandcounselling.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/SOLUTIONS-TO-TRAUMA-PART-I.pdf
Download part 2 here
https://therapyandcounselling.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/SOLUTIONS-TO-TRAUMA-PART-II.pdf

PTSD? See the Impact of Events Scale click here

GRIEF: Good resources including a facebook group for those in grief that i am told is very helpful. https://grief.com/  David Kessler
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SEXUAL OFFENCES: My other website has loads of resources for people who are victims of sexual offences, people who have committed (or are at risk of committing) as sexual offence, the families of those who have committed a sexual offence and therapists working with those who have committed a sexual offence.  http://sexuallyinappropriatebehaviour.org/
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SELF HARM: SELF INJURY SUPPORT is the only UK-wide self harm support charity

DEATH AND DYING BY RAM DASS: In this collection of clips from his core teachings on death and dying, Ram Dass explores love, loss, and soul, elucidates the art of grief, and encourages us all to make peace with death.

https://art19.com/shows/ram-dass-here-and-now/episodes/7bdb907a-2d28-431f-9425-ff8eebeddd30

A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO POLYVAGAL THEORY by Deb Dana
We come into the world wired to connect. With our first breath, we embark on a quest to feel safe in our bodies, in our environments, and in our relationships with others. The autonomic nervous system is our personal surveillance system, always on guard, asking the question “Is this safe?” Its goal is to protect us by sensing safety and risk, listening moment by moment to what is happening in and around our bodies and in the
connections we have to others. This listening happens far below awareness and far away from our conscious control. Dr. Porges, understanding that this is not awareness that comes with perception, coined the term neuroception to describe the way our autonomic nervous system scans for
cues of safety, danger, and life threat without involving the thinking parts of our brain. Because we humans are meaning-making beings, what begins as the wordless experiencing of neuroception drives the creation of a story that shapes our daily living. https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/resources/Beginner’s%20Guide.pdf

HOW LONG A FEELING ACTUALLY LASTS: 90 SECONDS
In the book My Stroke of Insight, brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor explains that the natural life span of an emotion—the average time it takes for it to move through the nervous system and body—is only a minute and a half, a mere ninety seconds.
https://www.tarabrach.com/the-opportunity-of-the-magic-quarter-second/

WORKING WITH BLAME AFTER TRAUMA
Bessel Van Der Kolk – 5 mins.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpYMZZZ2X_g&ab_channel=NICABM

WHY CARING WHAT OTHERES THINKS BREEDS MENTAL ILLNESS
10 minute film  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4jzzDYLgro&t=2s&ab_channel=AcademyofIdeas

POLYVAGAL THEORY: The New Science of Safety and Trauma
What is trauma exactly? Or the ever-elusive concept known as the “flow state”? And why do some people just flat-out creep us out? It can all be explained by the autonomic nervous system — our body’s autopilot that keeps our heart beating, our lungs breathing, and our gut digesting; without us even thinking about it. The Polyvagal Theory is a new understanding of how our nervous system works, and explains everything from trauma, to the very essence of social behavior; while shedding light on possible treatments for autism and trauma. You’ll never think of your body and brain the same way again. The presenter ia Seth Porges,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=br8-qebjIgs&ab_channel=NerdNite

CONVERSION THERAPY: A law to ban conversion therapy: how do we end this harmful practice?  Webinar:  Watch the webinar. MOU. Coalition Against Conversion Therapy

https://www.albanytrust.org/against-conversion-therapy-in-the-uk?mc_cid=c83dae2c28&mc_eid=d2f98c3821

MOVING BEYOND BETRAYAL
This is a  website that deals specifically with women who have been betrayed by sexual trauma, porn or infidelity.  There are free courses to access, and a paid membership with access to online therapists.   The paid course offers tools and various ways to move forward – with writing assignments, pre recorded videos to watch plus the ability to converse online with a closed group of women and access to therapists who will answer questions.
https://bloomforwomen.com/moving-beyond-betrayal-trauma/

Path for Men: Overcoming unwanted sexual behaviours

A digital recovery community providing specialized, empathetic, compassionate, therapy and online courses to overcome unwanted sexual behaviors and repair damaged relationships.
https://pathformen.com/

Exploring the Inner Worlds of Autistic Minds

https://neuroclastic.com/2021/02/11/exploring-the-inner-worlds-of-autistics/

OCD: OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER:
THOUGHT PATTERN, PATTERN THOUGHT

 Poet and writer Joanne Limburg presents an immersive and revealing audio composition, exploring her experience of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) to create brand new poetic work especially for Radio 4.
     Joanne has written about her experiences of OCD before but has never attempted to write poetry about it – until now. This programme follows Joanne as she creates a set of poems to encapsulate the inner thought patterns and processes of her OCD.
Around 1-2% of people in the UK are affected by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. A widely misunderstood and misrepresented but treatable condition, it often takes many years for people to seek help. Common misconceptions about OCD still persist – the belief that someone can be “a bit OCD”, that it’s a quirk or personality trait of people who like things neat and tidy, or that it’s about washing hands. In reality, OCD is a serious and often debilitating anxiety disorder that causes negative, relentless intrusive thoughts and an overwhelming sense of danger which can lead to repetitive compulsive behaviours.
OCD has been part of Joanne’s life since she was a teenager. She reflects on the dark fears, intrusive thoughts and imaginary disaster-filled images caused by her OCD before she received treatment. She reveals her fears of crossing roads and her overwhelming anxieties as a new parent. With sound, music, Joanne’s words and evocative new poetry, it’s a visceral exploration of the OCD thoughts and feelings she has lived with for much of her life.
Joanne Limburg is a Cambridge-based poet and writer. Her memoir, The Woman Who Thought Too Much, is among her published titles.
A 7digital production for BBC Radio 4.  Broadcast on 22nd Nov 2020.

TEN THINGS I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT CSA
10 things I have learned about CSA by Carolyn Spring
SOME PEOPLE NEVER SAY SORRY
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201305/5-reasons-why-some-people-will-never-say-sorry

DEALING WITH A MANIPULATIVE PERSON: USE THE GREY ROCK TECHNIQUE
Picture a grey rock: Unremarkable, forgettable, and similar to countless others scattered nearby. Even the most enthusiastic collector probably wouldn’t have a lot to say about this rock.  So, if you wanted to escape notice, becoming a grey rock might seem like a good way to go about it. Of course, people can’t actually turn into rocks, but that’s where the idea of grey rocking comes from.
https://www.healthline.com/health/grey-rock

CIRCLES OF CONTROL
Focus on the things we can change and to accept and let go of the things we cannot change.  This tool can help you work that out.: the model of the ‘Circles of Control, Influence and Concern’.
http://www.clairenewton.co.za/my-articles/circles-of-control.html

COVERT SEXUAL ABUSE
Anything that does not have an obvious sexual intention, but nevertheless leaves a victim feeling violated or that ‘ick’ feeling, could be regarded as covert sexual abuse.
https://liberationtherapy.co.uk/2020/10/27/covert-sexual-abuse/

NHS mental health crisis line.
It can be called by anyone, for anyone, of any age. Unfortunately there isn’t a single number, you have to go to the NHS 111 website and put in your postcode and under/over 18 to get the right one.

   It works in a similar way to the 111 service: your call is triaged, and then someone calls back.
   It was set up at the start of lockdown, to try to prevent those suffering from a mental health crisis having to go to A&E. In Bristol it gets used by NHS paramedics, police, and A&E staff as well as by patients on behalf of themselves and on behalf of others.

Free Psychotherapy Books to Download
Download Free eBooks in Psychotherapy, Psychiatry and Psychoanalysis
https://www.freepsychotherapybooks.org/

ALEXITHYMIA
Peter Sifneos introduced  the term alexithymia in 1972.  It is derived from the Greek, and means having no words for emotions:
a=lack,
lexis=word,
thymos=emotions.
Alexithymia is not a diagnosis, but is a useful construct for characterising patients who seem not to understand the feelings they obviously experience, and for patients who seem to lack the words to describe these feelings to others.
ONLINE TEST to see if you have Alexithymia https://www.alexithymia.us/test-alexithymia

LINK to WOMEN WITH ASPERGERS SYNDROME:
Tania Marshall, Autism Studies PhD. student, has compiled a working list of traits women with Asperger Syndrome have.  Her 18-point profile was created for females who are self-diagnosing or considering formal diagnosis, and to assist mental health professionals in recognizing Asperger Syndrome in adult females. https://taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/moving-towards-a-female-profile-the-unique-characteristics-abilities-and-talents-of-asperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/


Women with Autism
Autism is a lifelong condition, often seen as particularly ‘male’. Yet a growing number of women, and those assigned female at birth, are being diagnosed as autistic in their 30s, 40s, 50s – and beyond. Writer and performer Helen Keen is one of them, and she’s found this diagnosis has helped her make sense of many aspects of her life, from growing up with selective mutism, to struggling to fit in as a young adult. In this programme Helen asks why she, like a growing number of others, had to wait till she was well into adulthood before finding her place on the autistic spectrum. She discovers that for many years psychologists believed that autism was rarely seen in women and non-binary people. Now it is accepted that people often display autistic traits in different ways, for example, they may learn to ‘camouflage’ and behave in a neurotypical way – but at what cost? Helen talks to others like her who have had late diagnoses and finds out if knowing they are on the autistic spectrum has given them insight into how they can navigate the pressures on them from contemporary society. She also explores how we can value and celebrate neurodiversity.  Helen also talks to psychologists Professor Francesca Happé , of the Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology and Neuroscience in London, and Dr Steven Stagg of Anglia Ruskin University about their research into autism.  BBC Radio 4 programme:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000mcyj0

Francesca Happé on autism (in women)
When Francesca Happé started out as a research psychologist thirty years ago, she thought she could easily find out all there was to know about autism – and perhaps that wouldn’t have been impossible as there were so few papers published on it. Francesca’s studies have increased our knowledge of how people with autism experience the world around them, and their social interactions. She’s looked at their brains using various imaging techniques, studied the families of people with autism to explore their genetics, and raised awareness of how the condition can appear differently in women than in men. Jim al-Khalili talks to Francesca, now Professor of Cognitive Neuroscience at the Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology and Neuroscience in London, about her research career and her current projects, including how people with autism experience mental health issues, such as PTSD.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000m5lh

Depression screening questionnaire
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Panic Attacks and Panic Disorder Q and A
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A comprehensive guide to low self esteem including resources
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Are you Highly Sensitive? Is your child Highly Sensitive? Where does High Sensation Seeking fit into the mix?
https://hsperson.com/test/
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Information for keeping your children safe online
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Cognitive Function Test: 15 minute test for Dementia
http://cft3.foodforthebrain.org/  and more about the test below
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The  X plan.  A lifeline for when children and young adults get themselves into a difficult situation and want a graceful way out.

Keeping Kids Safe Online: The Ultimate Parent Guide for Protecting Your Child on the Internet https://www.vpnmentor.com/blog/the-ultimate-parent-guide-for-child-internet/

Understanding the Other: Mentalizing with Attachment Theory – Understanding other people’s worldviews without having to agree with them
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-freedom-change/202010/understanding-the-other-mentalizing-attachment-theory?amp

Aspergers and Autism, a simple online quiz to see if you are affected by these conditions
http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/autism.htm

Autism in Girls , an online article about the Signs of Autism in Girls published by Autism Parenting Magazine
https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/signs-of-autism-in-girls/

The Ultimate Guide for Protecting Your Child on the Internet https://www.vpnmentor.com/blog/the-ultimate-parent-guide-for-child-internet/

Complex PTSD: Please see below a 20 minute online teaching session about complex PTSD in children and young people (but which also contains useful information for this specific distress in adults too).   This session is aimed at more experienced/specialist users and helps practitioners identify responses to persistent or repeated interpersonal (‘complex’) traumas and current treatment recommendations for complex post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).https://www.minded.org.uk/course/view.php?id=319


Cognitive behavioural therapy through an interactive website.  You have to sign up to do it, and it is no longer free of charge.  But it comes highly recommended by a client.   It is Australian
https://moodgym.anu.edu.au

Boys and Body Image and the Affect it has on their mental wellbeing. https://mediasmart.uk.com/boysbiggestconversation/

For those dealing with issues around pornography
http://yourbrainonporn.com/

The Ultimate Guide for Protecting Your Child on the Internet
https://www.vpnmentor.com/blog/the-ultimate-parent-guide-for-child-internet/

The Ten Rules of Anal Sex by Jack Morin Click here to download

Testosterone for Women: 2019 International Society for Sexual Medicine: Guidelines on Testosterone for Women
Experts from nine medical organizations, including the ISSM and the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health (ISSWSH) have developed the first Global Position Statement on testosterone therapy in postmenopausal women.   The panel concluded that testosterone may improve sexual desire, arousal, orgasm, and pleasure in postmenopausal women with hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD).    Please click here for more information.  https://www.issm.info/news/issm-news/international-consensus-on-testosterone-treatment-for-women/

Testosterone for men: The normal levels and why, when the UK tests say ‘normal’ a sex therapist or endocrinologist will disagree  https://www.optimale.co.uk/normal-male-testosterone-levels/

The Online School of Sex for Disabled People www.school-of-sex.info/

This website has a huge list of resources: for everyday sexism, for rape and sexual assualt, for black and ethnic minorities, for legal issues, for children, for refugees, for sexual information,

http://everydaysexism.com/help-support