The real deal

The Real Deal: Four Aspects of Relationship

A healthy relationship requires a broad set of skills and attributes, some of which are innate, but many of which can be learned. We need flexibility, and the clarity to know our own mind, but we also need the willingness to speak our truth. In this one-day workshop, relationship therapist Juliet Grayson and poet William Ayot will look at four aspects of character and how they are affected when we interact in intimate relationships. We will explore the strengths we bring and some of the challenges we might face. Weaving together art and science, archetypal models and exercises, we will take steps towards a deeper self-awareness.

After the ideal comes the ordeal…and if we get through that stage then we reach the real deal. Weeks, months, even years after entering a relationship we can wake up to find ourselves next to a stranger. Is this the same person we fell in love with? Why are they irritating us? Why are we fighting over things that didn’t matter before? This subtle shift calls for re-negotiation and a certain tolerance. It also calls for an understanding of the deeply embedded archetypal characters that can dictate our attitudes, behaviours and reactions.

Maybe we feel competitive towards our partner, maybe we feel smothered. Perhaps that airy quality that seemed so attractive now feels like uncaring flakiness. This workshop looks into the dynamics that come into play as our deeper characters are revealed to each other. Looking at the constant play of archetypes within us we can come to a new understanding of both our own approaches to relationship and our partner’s reactions to our behaviour.

This will be an experiential day that takes you into the territory of self-discovery and may help you to understand various relationships in your life, including the most intimate.

We will explore the question ‘how can I be myself, and be in a relationship?’ We explore being in relationship without trying to control and change my partner, or adapt and give up myself.

This workshop is open to all men and women of whatever status or preference – straight, gay, committed, seeking a relationship, or happily single.

Juliet Grayson is a psychotherapist (UKCP Registered, NLPtCA Accredited ) and Pesso Boyden System Psychomotor (PBSP) Accredited Trainer, who, for the last 25 years, has specialised in relationship and sexual problems. She spends half her time at her private practice based in Chepstow. The rest of the time she travels the country running personal development workshops using PBSP. She also enjoys teaching counsellors and therapists, who usually work one-to-one, how to work with couples, relationship problems and sexual issues. She is very excited to be presenting this day (which is followed by a book launch) with her husband William Ayot, looking at some of the issues and challenges that couples face. Juliet publishes Landscapes of the Heart: the working world of a sex and relationship therapist in April 2016.

William Ayot is a poet, playwright, international workshop leader and keynote speaker. He was a founding director of Olivier Mythodrama, using story and poetry to teach leadership, presentation and character development. For many years he led initiatory men’s events, including Men’s Rites of Passage retreats in Snowdonia. William’s writing includes his recent book: ‘Re-enchanting the Forest, meaningful ritual in a secular age,’ and three collections of poetry. William gives a tithe of his time to working with those recovering from addiction. He is a speaker for the National Association of Children of Alcoholics and a patron of the SWAN project in Bristol.