Self Appreciation – If Only I’d Known Then
I’m writing this on holiday, flicking through the photos we’ve taken. And it makes me think about how often we look back at old pictures and say, “Amazing! I looked so good then. Why on earth didn’t I see it at the time?”
I had one of those moments recently. There I was, ten years younger, hair fuller and blonder, lines a little softer. Back then, I’d been fretting about my weight, focussing on my double chins and my big belly. Yet now, looking back, I thought: I was actually rather lovely. Why couldn’t I have known that then?
It’s a peculiar blindness. I know I am not alone, in looking with a critical eye, zooming in on tiny flaws – the uneven teeth, the thinning hair, the wrinkles – and miss the bigger truth. That I was vibrant, alive, unique. That my imperfections were part of my charm. I looked okay. More than okay!
And here’s the kicker: ten years from now, I’ll probably look back at today’s holiday photos with the same wistfulness. “I didn’t realise how lovely I was. I wasted so much energy worrying.”
So what if we broke the cycle? What if we decided, right now, to treat ourselves the way our future self will wish we had? To notice the sparkle in our eyes, the strength in our bodies, the kindness in our faces.
Because the truth is, we rarely see ourselves clearly in the moment. Shame, self-doubt and comparison distort the map. But the lens of hindsight is often much kinder, more realistic.
So here’s my invitation: picture your future self looking back at you today. What would he or she say? Probably something like, “You were more than enough. You were lovely, even then. Stop wasting time doubting it.”
And maybe — just maybe — it’s time for me to believe her.
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