Focus on the Good
One of my clients, in a Pesso Boyden personal development group, recently said a phrase I’ve haven’t forgotten: “Focus on the good, and the good will come into focus.”
It’s deceptively simple. Our minds are wired to notice danger – the criticisms, the flaws, the things that went wrong. If you get ten compliments and one sharp remark, where does your attention land? Usually on the remark. And so the good blurs into the background, while the one negative steals the show.
But when we deliberately turn our attention towards what’s nourishing, something shifts. For example: a couple leaves a therapy session, and one says, “We argued again – it was awful.” The other replies, “Yes, but did you notice? We caught ourselves faster than usual. We stayed in the room. We’re learning.” Same event, different focus.
When walking through the woods near my home, the air cool and rich with the scent of damp leaves. I notice how easy it is to focus on the mud, the bare branches, the shortening days. Yet if I look again, I see the soft copper carpet beneath my feet, the stillness of the year exhaling, the faint trace of woodsmoke in the distance. There is beauty even in the letting go. And then I remember that this is my favourite time of year. Writing a gratitude diary, three things every day you are appreciative of, can be help us refocus.
This isn’t about pretending life is easy and ignoring the hard stuff. Pain needs its place too. But if we only zoom in on what’s wrong, life feels heavy. If we focus on the good, the good will come into focus. And once it does, it grows.
Juliet enjoys hearing comments about how these talks impact people – both positive and negative. If you have time, please let her know your thoughts
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