Juliet shares some of her knowledge and insights, along with case studies that have proved informative.
These insights are released each week in part on our mailouts, but here we will collect them in full for viewing at any time.
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1. The Six Human Needs: A Useful Lens for Therapists
In the tender unfolding of our human experience, there is a powerful lens through which we can understand the deep drivers of behaviour. Human Needs Psychology proposes the six core human needs that live at the heart of every action, every conflict, and every longing for connection or change. These are not mere preferences—they are essential nutrients of the psyche. (click here to see full article)
2. The Cycle Of Arrogance And Disconnection Is A Barrier To Intimacy And Trust.
In my therapy room, I often see how arrogance—manifested through the “one-up” position—shows up in couples. It’s a subtle, yet pervasive dynamic. The person in the “one-up” position behaves as though they are above their partner, in control, superior in some way. But, when we peel back the layers, it becomes clear that this arrogance often hides a deep fear of vulnerability and an overwhelming need to protect the self from feeling inadequate. (click here to see full article)
3. Different Types of Intimacy
Intimacy is often misunderstood as being purely sexual, but in truth, it’s far more layered and nuanced. As someone explained to me, the word intimacy can be broken down as “into me I see.” It speaks to the courage of self-revelation—allowing ourselves to be seen by another, and equally, being willing to see into ourselves. In therapy, I often explore with clients the many different kinds of intimacy that exist: emotional, physical, spiritual, intellectual, creative, and even practical intimacy, like sharing daily routines or responsibilities. (click here to see full article)
4. Mistakes Hold the Seeds of Growth: Rupture and Repair
Mistakes are an inevitable part of being human. We all make them. They don’t discriminate—whether big or small, they are an integral part of our lives, marking our paths with both regret and potential. Some mistakes are fleeting, barely noticeable. Others linger, casting shadows over our days. But the truth is, every mistake holds the seeds of growth. (click here to see full article)
5. Honouring the Wisdom of Revenge – Symbolic Expression Loosens the Knots
In the therapy room, I have sat with many people who carry a deep longing for revenge. Often, it is a silent hunger—unspoken, but simmering just beneath the surface. When someone has been harmed, especially in childhood, there is a part of the psyche that wants justice. Not just in a rational sense, but emotionally, viscerally. It wants the perpetrator to hurt too. It wants to level the scales .(click here to see full article)
6. The Politeness — Authenticity Continuum
People-pleasing is a subtle, often unconscious pattern—a way of living that prioritises others’ comfort over our own. It’s a protective mechanism, born from the need to avoid conflict, to seek approval, or to maintain peace. But it comes at a cost. Over time, the more we suppress our true feelings to please others, the more we lose sight of ourselves. We begin to blur the line between authenticity and politeness, not knowing where we end and the other person begins. (click here to see full article)
7. Sitting With the Stretch: A Therapist’s View on Non-Monogamy
As a therapist who lives monogamously, I’ve had to learn how to sit with the stretch—how to hold space for couples exploring ethical non-monogamy, even when it’s not a path I walk myself. The stretch isn’t resistance—it’s reverence. For love, for honesty, for the vulnerability it takes to have these conversations at all.(click here to see full article)
8. Boundaries are like an Orange: A Juicy Metaphor for Safe, Connected Living
Boundaries, says Terry Real—founder of the Relational Life Institute—are like an orange. The outer skin—vivid orange, textured, slightly tough—symbolises our protective boundary. It’s what shields us from the outside world. This is the part that says, “I will not let in what is harmful, shaming, or intrusive.” It acts as a filter, discerning what to allow through: it lets in warmth, care, and connection, while keeping out what might bruise or overwhelm. It’s strong, but not a wall—porous enough for intimacy, firm enough for safety.(click here to see full article)
To watch the 3 minute video click here
9. When Boundaries Become a Love Letter to Yourself
For many of us, boundaries were never taught—they were survived. I learned, quietly and often painfully, to shape-shift: to be good, agreeable, accommodating.
I learned to dim my light to keep the peace.
To silence my discomfort in the name of love.
To say yes while my body screamed no – but I wasn’t listening to my body – I didn’t even hear the no.
I abandoned myself, again and again, calling it kindness – I thought I was being kind to the other person.
This became my normal.
Then, through my own therapy as a client, I learned that boundaries are not rejection. ((Click here to see full article))
To watch the 5 minute video click here
10. Toxic Shame is Often Unrecognised
“The feeling of toxic shame is one that is all-consuming. It’s more than just a sense of wrongness.
It is an identity issue to the point where you are wrong. Shame is about who you are if guilt is about what you do. Toxic shame tends to be built up over time. It is not a switch that is turned on. It is a thing that is built up by experience, by life experience.
To watch the 9 minute video and read the transcript click here
11. If You Never Say No, Then I Can’t Trust Your Yes
There was a time when I didn’t know how to say no—not really. I’d smile and agree to things because I should, or because I didn’t want to disappoint. It felt kinder to go along with things. I was afraid of letting someone down.
And on top of that, was an anxiety. What if they have the best time ever, and I miss the fun? That old ache, the fear of missing out lingered just beneath the surface. So I said yes, even when my body whispered no. I said yes, even when I was running on empty.
My dear friend Jacquie saw through it…..((click here to see full article))
To watch the 4 minute video click here
12. Blast from the Past
My colleague Sandy Cotter has a wonderful phrase for those moments when someone pushes our buttons. She calls it a blast from the past.
It’s that flash of heat when your partner forgets to put the bins out. “You never think of me! I do everything round here!” Or the icy silence you fall into when a colleague sighs heavily. “Oh God, I’ve messed up again, they are fed up with me making mistakes. They want me to leave.” The trigger seems small, but the reaction is volcanic. Why? Because it’s not really about bins or sighs. It’s about some old hurt waking up, stretching its legs, and shouting, “Remember me?”
((click here to see full article))
To watch the 3 minute video click here
13. Self Appreciation – If Only I’d Known Then
I’m writing this on holiday, flicking through the photos we’ve taken. And it makes me think about how often we look back at old pictures and say,
“Amazing! I looked so good then. Why on earth didn’t I see it at the time?”
I had one of those moments recently. There I was, ten years younger, hair fuller and blonder, lines a little softer. Back then, I’d been fretting about my weight, focussing on my double chins and my big belly. Yet now, looking back, I thought: “I was actually rather lovely. Why couldn’t I have known that then?”
((click here to see full article))
To watch the 2.5 minute video click here
14. The Quiet Truth of Who I Am
By Juliet Grayson
For much of my life, I thought I was an extrovert. I was sociable, animated in groups, often the one to keep a conversation alive. I’d learned how to read a room, how to bring energy, how to be what others seemed to need. It didn’t occur to me that this was more performance than preference.
((click here to see full article))
To watch the 3.5 minute video: Click here
15. The Courage, the Beauty to Let our Vulnerability Be Seen.
Vulnerability is often misunderstood. It’s seen as weakness, as exposure, as something to be managed or hidden. But in truth, vulnerability is one of the greatest acts of courage a human being can offer.
To be vulnerable is to let yourself be seen—not just the polished parts, but the trembling ones. It means risking rejection, disappointment, misunderstanding. It means lowering the armour we’ve carried for decades, often built in childhood, designed to protect us from shame, blame, or abandonment.
And yet, paradoxically, it’s in this softening that true strength resides.
((click here to see full article))
To watch the 3.5 minute video: Click here
16. The Journey from Chasing Belonging to Choosing Peace
FOMO – The Fear of Missing Out. And JOMO: The Joy of Missing Out
There’s a quiet joy that comes from sitting still, choosing not to run after the next thing. A relief in saying, no, thank you, and meaning it. The Joy of Missing Out – JOMO – is a subtle but potent shift. It’s when we stop chasing what everyone else seems to be doing and start listening to what we need instead.
I grew up with a fear of missing out FOMO. I had an older brother. and I didn’t want to be left behind. I was determined to be included in everything, be a part of every adventure, every conversation, every moment. If he (or my parents) shut the door, it felt like a loss. I didn’t want to go to bed earlier than him. I was scrabbling to belong, to keep up, not to miss the magic that I imagined was always happening – just out of sight.
((click here to see full article))
To watch the 3.5 minute video: Click here
17. When Words Are Not Enough: A Wife’s Reflection on the Power of Ritual
There are moments in life when language falters. When talking no longer soothes, and insight alone doesn’t bring peace. As a psychotherapist, I have spent decades sitting with people in pain – but some thresholds, I’ve come to realise, are better crossed – not through dialogue, but through ritual.
We used to know this. Long before boardrooms and email threads, we gathered around fires and stones, baptised our young, buried our dead with care, and marked our transitions with rhythm, song, and symbol. A man wasn’t simply told he was a father now — he was brought to the edge of something and walked across it. A woman didn’t quietly mourn in private — she keened with others until her grief became part of the ground. We had ways of making the invisible, visible. Of saying to the soul: This matters.
((click here to see full article))
To watch the 8 minute video: Click here
18. The Humbling Art of Choosing Well
Starting a new relationship is hard. Whether it’s romantic, professional, or even a friendship—there’s always that early hope, that wish to trust, and the uneasy truth that we don’t really know who we’re dealing with.
((click here to see full article))
To watch the 3 minute video: Click here
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