The Felt Sense of Safety
Highlighting the embodied experience at the heart of PBSP
I have always loved the proverb: Trust in God, but tie your camel up. It speaks to the paradox at the heart of living — faith and responsibility, surrender and action. We cannot simply lean on trust without also tending to the practical. For me, it is a reminder that safety is not only an idea, but something we create with our hands, our choices, our bodies.
In my Pesso Boyden workshops, I see how many people long for safety, not as a concept but as a lived experience. I watch their faces soften, their shoulders drop, their breathing deepens, as the body whispers: here, I am held. Yet safety does not come from anxious restriction — “don’t walk down there” — nor from blind faith that everything will be fine. It arises from the steady presence of someone who can hold the boat when the waters rise. And in Pesso Boyden, this is done through their Ideal Family.
Einstein once asked, “Is the universe a friendly place?” For me, the answer depends on whether we can cultivate both trust and care. We trust the larger unfolding, but we also tie the camel — we lock the door at night, we check the tyres before a long journey, we teach the child to look both ways before crossing the street. These are not acts of fear, but of love.
This balance is what the body-based therapy Pesso Boyden offers: the felt sense of safety. Not simply learning about safety, or talking about it, but actually experiencing it. Not the idea of safety, but the embodied sensation of being truly safe – sometimes for the very first time in a person’s life. The body knows when it is held in a way that fits, when it is protected. And when participants taste safety in their bodies, even for a moment, they begin to answer Einstein’s question differently. The universe shifts from hostile to friendly, from dangerous to trustworthy. And in that shift, something profound happens: the possibility of living with more openness, more courage, more grace.
Juliet Grayson
January 2026
See the list of Pesso Events that Juliet is leading: https://therapyandcounselling.co.uk/pesso-events/
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If you are a therapist, counsellor or health worker, and interested in thinking more about conflict, and you are a therapist, you might want to attend the Couples in Conflict module of the Certificate in Working with Couples.
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If you’re a therapist and watching this you might be interested in my six modular workshops on how to work with couples. Go to www.therapyandcounselling.co.uk and look either at the calendar or look at the course for therapists: Certificate in Working with Couples.
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