Why Every Therapist Should Learn About Gender Diversity
After more than thirty years as a therapist, I still get excited when I find a CPD course that genuinely makes me think. The best training doesn’t simply give me more information. It invites me to reflect on my assumptions, challenges me to see the world through a different lens, and helps me become a little more thoughtful in my practice.
That was exactly my experience attending a workshop called ‘Working Alongside Trans, Non Binary and Questioning Clients,’ led by Ellis Johnson, a trans man. Ellis has a gentle, inclusive teaching style that made learning feel both safe and engaging. The day flowed beautifully between teaching, discussion, videos illustrating some of the challenges that trans people face, and thoughtful case studies. It was, quite simply, excellent training. I came away thinking that every therapist would benefit from attending.
One of the things I have learned over the years is that therapy begins with curiosity. We cannot assume we know another person’s experience. We have to be willing to ask, to listen, and sometimes to discover that the world has changed since we first trained. It certainly has since I did my training in 1991.
When I began practising, very few clients talked about gender identity. One of my very early clients at the Maudsley Hospital, where I was doing my Couples Counselling Training was a couple where one person had transitioned gender – relatively rare in those days. No one used they/them pronouns. Today, it is much more common to meet people who are transgender, non-binary, or questioning their gender. Whether or not this is an area we know much about, our clients deserve therapists who are willing to understand their experience rather than make assumptions.
Perhaps I have always been interested in the many ways that people experience gender. As a child I was a tomboy and insisted on my hair being cut short. I loved it when shopkeepers thought I was a boy. In French lessons I chose the name Pierre. Then, years later, when I was in my late 20’s, Ian – a close friend remarked, as we were walking one day, “You are such a feminine woman.” His words landed unexpectedly deeply because I realised I had never fully recognised that part of myself. Looking back, I can see that my own relationship with gender has shifted over the years, even though I identify as a straight, cisgender woman.
Life has continued to broaden my perspective. In my thirties, someone I cared about shared that he enjoyed cross-dressing. My first response was not judgement but curiosity. Later, after training as a sex therapist, I attended a conference where a fascinating presentation explained the medical aspects of gender transition. It was only at the end that I realised the presenter himself had been assigned female at birth. Once again, I was reminded how easy it is to make assumptions.
Because of that, Ellis Johnson now runs the ‘Working Alongside Trans, Non Binary and Questioning Clients’ which you can book online, through www.therapyandcounselling.co.uk.
I still find parts of this subject challenging. Sometimes I have questions. Sometimes I need to learn new language or remind myself to use someone’s chosen pronouns. But I believe that kindness matters. We don’t have to understand every aspect of another person’s experience in order to treat them with dignity and respect.
As therapists, we regularly ask our clients to be courageous enough to explore unfamiliar territory. It seems only fair that we are willing to do the same ourselves.
June 2026
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If you are a therapist, counsellor or health worker, and interested in thinking more about conflict, and you are a therapist, you might want to attend the Couples in Conflict module of the Certificate in Working with Couples.
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If you’re a therapist and watching this you might be interested in my six modular workshops on how to work with couples. Go to www.therapyandcounselling.co.uk and look either at the calendar or look at the course for therapists: Certificate in Working with Couples.
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